Bad Times Virus

If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not
open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your
ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice
cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone auto dial to
call only your mother-in-law's number.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your
beer.  (For God's sake men are you listening?!?!) It will leave dirty socks
on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your
shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current
boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your
Visa card.

It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is
only fun until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files,
changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating
undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key

If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95/98 environment, it will
leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously
close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows,
it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.